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Sound of a poet/Isams klummer-Isams columns 2009 |
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Venligst udlånt af Waqas Ali Qadri |
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Se Isams klummer fra 2010 og 2011 / See Isams columns from 2010 and 2011 |
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11. december 2009 >http://www.metroxpress.dk/dk/article/2009/12/10/20/0522-83/index.xml> Hopenhagen – cool at være vidne til det
Klima stjæler medieopmærksomhed fra verdens brændepunkter The climate is in the way It is good to focus on climate, but who dare to change his lifestyle and give up SUV for a green Fiat Panda 1.2 Eco? " THE COLUMN IS SOLELY REFLECTS THE WRITER’S OWN VIEWS My son's day care is right at the Bella Centre, and these days it is difficult to get there, they had closed because of COP15, so I may run a small detour to keep behind a bush, crossing a brook and then be able to deliver him. The climate isin the way, damn! In a garbage can near the creek is a poster that says: 'Climate changes or system change? " And that's where the problem lies. It is not climate, but SYSTEM! Or put another way: The world economic imbalance is just so 'f'd up' as the political climate.
Hopenhagen – cool to be witness to it
Climate steals mediahype from the worlds focus LS2/Tue |
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Mekka for dummies 27. november 2009 3 Lihttp://www.metroxpress.dk/dk/article/2009/11/27/09/4609-83/index.xml3 Li Det er Eid i dag
Pis, jeg skal arbejde i aften Mecca for dummies Take today's columnist, Isam B on pilgrimage THE COLUMN IS SOLELY REFLECTS THE WRITER’S OWN VIEWS Imagine standing with his wife and newborn baby in the middle of the Arabian Desert and then hear a voice that orders you to leave them - and even DO IT! Who would do that today?! Anyway, Abraham receives another revelation: he must leave them alone and go home again. He checks with his wife, which strangely enough gives him her support. He slips and leaves them in the middle of nowhere. Why does he do it?! Yes, he is 86 years, has prompted a long time to God for a baby and now he got it. Ergo, he must feel: Now I have to behave Later in the day Hagar runs out of milk for the little and start to look around - between two hills she runs back and forth for water, food and help. I stood among the very same hills - in her footsteps I walked in 40 degree heat, with two to three million people from around the world around me. All I have to have two white sheets, one is wrapped around the lower body and one on the upper body. The only thing that keeps it together is a safety pin. There is tremendous congestion, so I can not help but to go and double check whether the sheet sits as it should, for who can stand butt naked in Mecca?! I had my pilgrimage pocketbook with me (a sort of ' Mecca for dummies '), in which everything was - I looked up and pointed at prayer. She looked embarrassed at me: “I can not read.” And there stood I saw with a stranger on top of the hill against the Kaaba (the black -clad ' square ' building in the middle) and prayed a prayer. Tears flowed from her eyes as she repeated after me and my broken Arabic. Just at this moment we complemented each other fully. She thanked him and then disappeared into the crowd. Her humility touched me so deeply that it continues to this day is strong in the mind. She had enough saved up all his life to this journey and I honestly must admit that it was an impulse buy, but buy what it was. Eid Mubarek and joyful Eid Denmark.
It is Eid today
Shit, I have to work tonight LS2/Tue |
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J-dag: Hangen til humle 30. oktober 2009 N Tehttp://www.metroxpress.dk/dk/article/2009/10/29/20/2215-83/index.xmlT-Te Støt brysterne kampagnen fra Kræftens Bekæmpelse
Pelsdyravl i Danmark J-Day: The hang to hopIsam B from Outlandish group have looked at the beer-drinking favourite day, namely J- dayTHE COLUMN IS SOLELY REFLECTS THE WRITER’S OWN VIEWS Yippee - it's soon J- day! "This statement, I had to hear at this time of year as far back as I can remember. But what is my own personal relationship to this day, now that I do not drink?! Hmm, frankly - for me, J- day is kind of like translocation festival, rustic texture, Christmas markets, confirmation celebrations, Christmas Eve, Friday bar or wedding festivities: It starts nice, until your friends get a little too stern, after which they feel we must connect at a deeper level! They are extremely intrusive , and the foul - smelling yeast - weather coating makes it definitely not easier , while one should hear , 'Isam, my friend, damn I love you', 'Isam, you are damn good enough' 'Isam, I also believe in God 'or' damn Isam, I love you still'. It always ends this way, I stand and look at that my friends are becoming more and more strange - for example, exert themselves in making breast swimming exercises synchronously on the floor at the bar! To the reader info: We can not without starting a bar fight. Or throw up in the beer (fadbamsen), and then guzzle it all down again... And last but not least, watch your friends ride zigzagging home at night and smash his head into each other or the curb. You run over to them in shock: 'Are you insane! "They look up, takes his head and cycles with a smile foolishly zigzagging forward. I am speechless! Next day they remember nothing of course, while I had nightmares about being stabbed in a bar fight, frame the curb and breast swim away from it all. 'Why?! Why do they do that?!" says the elderly, very powerful taxi driver to me. Latest J- day, he had almost run a 15-year-old girl over when she suddenly decided to throw herself in front of his car to get a ride home. He jumps out and scolds her, whereupon she instantly with her little Smurfine-figure trying to break with him. He is absolutely petrified with slowcoach fine around the ankle. Police rescues him shortly after. I can not help but smile because he is so appalled by her behaviour. The situation reminds me a little about my downstairs neighbour Chihuahua - dog who believes that it is so large that it can knock a foaming dog fight. Anyway, you are as young damn curious about this penchant for hops that exist here at home. However, a few tips before going away tonight at 20:59: Let There Be ' to take wrestling grip on taxi drivers, take the commuter train home - it's free! And for Gods’ sake, no breaststroke at the bar!
Support the breast campaign founded by the fight against cancer (Kræftens Bekæmpelse)
Fur farming in Denmark LS2/Tue 00 |
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En historie om elitarisme 16. oktober 2009 -- [http://www.metroxpress.dk/dk/article/2009/10/15/22/2347-83/index.xmlEGIN Ud og nyde efterårsferien
Det er jo ski’ koldt; bliv hjemme! A story about elitarism Read about the ISAM meeting with police. THE COLUMN IS SOLELY REFLECTS THE WRITER’S OWN VIEWS 'Elitarism! If it were me, I would never have gone free, "exclaims the woman.
Out to enjoy the autumn vacation
It’s damn cold; stay home LS2/Tue |
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Det er os der er de unormale http://www.metroxpress.dk/dk/article/2009/10/01/21/0207-83/index.xml 2. oktober 2009 It is we who are the abnormalIsam B talks about how reality looks like in India.THE COLUMN IS SOLELY REFLECTS THE WRITER’S OWN VIEWS We are minutes away from landing in Mumbai, India. Looking out the window and to my indignation down I noticed a slum, located close- up at the airport. It would later prove to be very symbolic of the country. Hajj Ali Baba tomb is a tourist attraction, situated in the middle of the Arabian Sea. A small stone bridge leads up to his grave. The bridge is currently only feasible option in the daytime when it is covered by the tide on the evening. To walk on the pavement with monsoon rain pouring down feels like the road to hell, not paved with roses, but with children, adolescents and older who ALL were sick, weak and begging. A boy wrapped in plastic lay sleeping on the asphalt. One group was crippled in the ring and called out to God for help. Half-naked babies stood beside their mothers waiting for food. I was speechless from the first to the last step. My sound engineer described it best when he said: "It is we who are the abnormal - most of the world looks like this." India is one big contradiction. Every time you see a five-star hotel, pop up a slum. Traffic is a root, but it works miraculously. The people are very service minded and have respect for their cows. Even McD is therefore only in a veggie / chicken version. Indians are mega multi- ethnic and religious. It can be felt! The hospitality and tolerance are not going to go wrong as long as you do not do themselves any high expectations about making a hamburger. They love their Bollywood movies, long scenes, synchronized dance and love songs in the Alps. Artists have long since figured out that you will be 'somebody' in India, it is through Bollywood. Film industry overshadows the music business completely. However, it is NEVER movie stars themselves who sings, but a good singer who does not have the right look. The star can then tour the country sparsely to playback and choreography from his latest movie. "Are u British?" asked the waiter me. I nodded, then continued: "Do u know Skimickel? Very good keeper for United?” Me: "Yeah, Schmeichel was good!" Then he told me a yarn story about that India's national team had qualified for the World Cup 1950 in Brazil WITHOUT BOOTS! As it dawned on Fifa that it was a joke, they insisted that the Indians have to play with boots during the World Cup. Indians chose to pull out because it was too large a handicap to have to get used to playing with boots. True story - google it yourself! LS2/Tue |
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Hvem vil være millionær? 21. september 2009 http://www.metroxpress.dk/dk/article/2009/09/17/22/4438-83/index.xml Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? Who is Ladybird Eternal Happy (a Danish children song)? And is she Danish national treasure, ask Isam B THE COLUMN IS SOLELY REFLECTS THE WRITER’S OWN VIEWS We sit on the tour bus and play 'Who Wants to Be a Millionaire'. First question: 'Who does Ladybird Everlasting Glad meet in her path? " Options: A) Oh Abe, B) Three Small Chinese, C) Soren Auger or D) Soren Banjomus. There is quiet in the bus. "shit, we already have to use a lifeline?," Says me snarling. 'Ask the audience! "Depositor Waqas. We have thanked yes - in a good cause - to stand in the very TV show, so now there terpene. AND WE MUST NOT OUT IN THE FIRST FIVE QUESTIONS! The money will go to build wells in affected areas, and it costs 10-30000 dollars a piece. Ergo: WE MUST NOT OUT IN THE FIRST FIVE QUESTIONS! 'Ladybird Everlasting what?! So I can not answer those Dane issues, "says Lenny quite despondent as he looks disappointed us. "Yes, I'm eh born here - it's so?" And he is partly right in. But the analogy does not hold! Because - yes, we are born in Denmark, but we just never met her there Ladybird Everlasting Glad. She hung not so much out in Brøndby Strand. Maybe it's because we have not gone in institutional and small. Or maybe it's because our mothers singing children's songs from the mother countries. Or was it just not a hit in our ear. The fact is that Ladybird E had no place or meaning in our childhood - whatsoever! But she then pops up in the first issue has got to mean that she is a kind of national treasure and that all of Denmark knows the answer. How difficult it might have been to avoid her, so we managed it is. And only after 30 years, we meet her now. And what do we do?! "Call someone?" Shouts Waqas, and it causes us to evaluate our list of lifelines: 1) physician, 2) the physicist, 3) Literature and art expert, 4) Historian or 5) musician, 'Soren Auger, "says the suddenly up front from our West Jutland driver who then also becomes our lifeline: 6) Esbjergenseren. Jubiii, the answer is correct. Let's get started with winning a million. Shut up, we are illuminated. Next question: 'What number is called' Old Ole 'in bingo? " Answer options: A) 100, B) 90, C) 70 or D) 50 'PIS, "we cry in unison. While I'm esbjergenserens big smile in retrospect, I can not help but think: 'Damn, there is much up to the millisecond refund! " LS2/Tue |
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Ministermiddag i ramadanen 18. september 2009 http://www.metroxpress.dk/dk/article/2009/09/03/22/1429-83/index.xml Onsdag aften på Rantzausgade i sympati for udviste irakere
De 2.000 kroner fra staten, som skal dække de tvangsudsendte irakiske asylansøgeres videre færd i Irak Ministers Dinner in the Ramadan Isam B want Lars Løkke to invite to Ramadan dinner THE COLUMN IS SOLELY REFLECTS THE WRITER’S OWN VIEWS To my great surprise, I can see on YouTube that President Obama has invited various Americans to Ramadan dinner at the White House. Wow! It feels good to see politicians on the plan together on something, like I do with my family. It gives a sense of community. And not only that, so the man stands up and keeps one humble question of what American Muslims have led and contributed to the country. It is hard to see this month only be spent on burka drivel, Home Guard headscarf and forced deportation.
Wednesday evening at Rantzausgade in sympathy for the rejected iraqians
The 2.000 kr. From the government, which shall cover the forcefully send out irakian asylum seekers onward journey to Iraq LS2/Tue |
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Isam B. og Fairtrade-bananerne 13. august 2009 http://www.metroxpress.dk/dk/article/2008/08/13/08/1955-66/index.xml Isam B and the Fairtrade bananas Isam B is today's Fairtrade-columnist THE COLUMN IS SOLELY REFLECTS THE WRITER’S OWN VIEWS It is Thursday morning and I am awakened by a breath and moaning that tons directly from the bathroom as I was in the middle of a horseracing. My wife has just passed me and reaches the bathroom before she calmly but high proclaims: 'Avvvv!" I galloped out of my sleep, which I also did not get much of the night, thanks to the racing horse at regular intervals went past me. HerlevHospital, ' here we come! 'The show is in progress, and she is in labour that goes harder and harder. Some hours and an epidural later she calmed down with a morbid craving for bananas. I hasten down to the car and hoe out at Herlev Main Street looking for bananas. I blaspheme a net, park (illegally) just outside the entrance and runs in and tries to take the first bag of bananas, I spot. Puffing I overtake a pensioner on the way to checkout. Cash Employee is starting to sweep out front while I tripper at checkout and is about to panic. 'Is not it you from Outlandish?” is the first thing he says when he was strolling back to his seat. I answer psychopathic ' NO! Have a little busy - just bananas please. " I come running into the maternity ward with my wife and hands her bananas. 'Organic Fair-Trade bananas, Thanks honey! ”she says exhausted and smiling, to which I answer, ' uh ... of course - only the best to you my dove '. PEACE LS2/Tue |
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Mekka på Blågårds Plads 30. juni 2009 >http://www.metroxpress.dk/dk/article/2009/06/29/21/4350-83/index.xml Mecca on Blågårds Plads ... and on your right you can see a biker and an immigrant gang who obviously just steaks a stroller. "Isam Bachiri, singer of Outlandish THE COLUMN IS SOLELY REFLECTS THE WRITER’S OWN VIEWS Are waiting for my wife on Blågårds Square in Nørrebro in Copenhagen, where the Church's Recycling Business and the newly opened Pearl - Danish Muslim Aid luxury-hand shop are located directly opposite each other. My conjecture is interrupted by a car that runs straight up in front of me and parallel parks between the shops. Out of the vehicle steps my always smiling friend who has been found innocent after two years of terror suspects and hell-like trial - and now he stands there with two black bags in the hands. Suddenly, runs a huge Lyngby Tourist bus sloooowly past us. <the bus's first half is filled with curious retirees who are looking at us and takes pictures, while an equally old guide with a microphone are pointing to the right, left, up and down and finally upon us. '... and on your right hand you can most definitely see Isam B himself from Outlandish mediate between a biker and an immigrant ... An elderly pensioner on crutches comes limping out of flea market with a huge painting that he can hardly sustain. He walks past me, sweating and panting. LS2/Tue |
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Glædelig grundlovsdag 4. juni 2009 http://www.metroxpress.dk/dk/article/2009/06/03/22/3355-83/index.xml Happy Constitution Day Today's columnist is Outlandish-sangeren Isam Bachiri, which today is part Metro 'chief editors. THE COLUMN IS SOLELY REFLECTS THE WRITER’S OWN VIEWS "A group of pink Danes grilling ... for themselves. And a group of dark brown Danes stand and speak loudly together ... for themselves. I sit on the tour bus en route to a job in the 'dark' Jutland. It 'one of those days where you honestly just want to stay in bed. I'm mega tired and sit stony in the back of the bus with sunglasses on and looking out the window. LS2/Tue |
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